Hello there. Long story short: alarm, snooze, alarm, snooze, alarm, f*ck, coffee, shower, clothes, where are my wallet & my keys, missed the bus, arrived at work, hated everything, yelled at colleagues and acted like the sinister twin of grumpy cat, coffee, coffee, coffee, end of working day, heavy breathing and now some top tweets for today. Just a normal Monday!
#1:
seems a little extreme pic.twitter.com/Boliaj3yXR
— salt-n-peppa pig (@sophsa) October 18, 2020
#2:
You: 40 years ago–
Me: ah, so 1960
You: No, 1980.
Me: no— Olivia Hofer (@oghofer) October 17, 2020
#3:
Male bees die after mating, call that a honey nut cheerio
— Emmet (@emmetbabey) October 17, 2020
#4:
My grandad asked if my boyfriend was LGBT too so I pointed out that we were both men and he went “oh yeah”
— Arthur Webber 🌹🏳️🌈 (@BernieTranders) October 17, 2020
#5:
my free time is not a reflection of my availability
— yoko (@TERRORCHANEL) October 18, 2020
#6:
i am screaming lmfao pic.twitter.com/QtBWHFjBzI
— halloween town’s official blunt roller ☭ (@moonlitcommie) October 18, 2020
#7:
just walked by a girl giving the “it’s not you it’s me speech” on speakerphone while parallel parking in a rly tight spot. like wtf girls can literally do anything
— caroline doyle (@cd0yl3) October 18, 2020
#8:
I found this ring while digging my garden, and now I'm waiting for my quest to begin. pic.twitter.com/CTZRKysIWw
— Dr Elsa Panciroli (@gsciencelady) October 17, 2020
#9:
I love when people are like dO yOu ReALLY ThiNk PeOpLe wHo FLiP BurGeRs DesRvE FiFteEN DoLLaRs AN HoUr like no of course not I actually think they deserve to be millionaires shut the fuck up
(@spinubzilla) October 18, 2020
#10:
heard a couple arguing in mcdonalds and one of them stood up and said "i'm mcdone with u" and left
— james (@videojames_) October 18, 2020