Hello and thank you for traveling through the internet with Best of Twitter today. A few announcements as we begin. Please keep your seat belts fastened at all times. Take a moment to look around and find your exit to the kitchen, where you can find some delicious refreshments. This way may be right behind you. Also make sure you know the way to the restrooms or just stay there until the end of this post. If the cabin pressure changes suddenly or if you can’t breathe from laughing, clown shaped oxygen masks will automatically drop from the compartment above your seat. For the possibility of a water landing, we hope you can swim. If not, each seat provides an inflatable duck and a tiny useless whistle. Please let us know if you have any questions or need any help. We promise to do everything we can to entertain you. Thanks and happy Monday!
walked past tim hortons today and saw an employee working hard everybody wish him luck pic.twitter.com/paXbjExFND
— blm drew🇬🇭🇳🇬🇱🇧®➐ (@shecallsmedrew) October 22, 2020
THIS!!! Wait for it 😭❤️😭 pic.twitter.com/RFgzU4wyWm
— Jay Arnold 🎬 (@jadedcreative) October 25, 2020
Not wearing a mask doesn’t make you a strong, brave patriot, it makes you an inconsiderate dick who’s so fragile and privileged you mistake a minor inconvenience that could save lives for oppression.
— David Hogg Vote 🗳 (@davidhogg111) October 25, 2020
if your lawyer comes in wearing these, you are absolutely going to jail pic.twitter.com/hIfVBsg2P3
— Derek Guy (@dieworkwear) October 22, 2020
Sometimes it’s lonely at the bottom too.
— Nonchalant Charlotte (@jellybnbonanza) October 24, 2020
"i like ur music taste" thanks its a cry for help
— justin (@farringt0n) October 23, 2020
making up a lame excuse to bail on plans
– not cool dude
– you always do this
“i can’t go… because of the curse”
– sounds serious
– not gonna ask too many questions
– i’ll just cancel next week’s plans too, hope u get this thing sorted out
— nate of the living dead (@MNateShyamalan) October 25, 2020
crazy that the ancient romans named their gods after the planets. how did they even know the planets' names back then? really makes you think
— hype (@TheHyyyype) October 23, 2020
I used my teenage daughter’s body wash and now I know all of life’s answers and can’t stop rolling my eyes.
— your other spooky mom (@difficultpatty) October 25, 2020
I mean, I’m buying these leggings. I am this woman. pic.twitter.com/1FHiwVv8eT
— Maria Guido (@mariaguido) October 24, 2020