It’s finally Halloween and only a few days left, until the Hunger Gam…we mean the US presidential election takes place. To sum up this week: Leading experts are warning strongly against massive civil unrest after said election, Europe is going into lockdown for the second time, while in France some people go bat shit crazy because of their outdated belief system. Or, in other words: Can we see the murder hornets again? Even the killer clowns from last year sound like a walk in the park right now.
But do not despair, Best of Twitter to the rescue. In case we’re all in a live action version of Mad Max after next week, we’ll still entertain you. In exchange for a modest fee in the form of protection and perhaps some donkey meat once in a while. Until then, enjoy our Daily. Have fun!
I made a joke that I’m going as a slutty overworked housewife for halloween and my husband said ‘wouldn’t that be nice’ under his breath so now I’m going as a slutty newly single divorcee
— Vision Bored 👻🎃 (@VisionBored1) October 30, 2020
Grilled cheese is made by burning one side and then nervously undercooking the other.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) October 31, 2020
“How’s that whole ‘expressing your personal freedom’ thing working out for you, Dave?”
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) October 29, 2020
FRIEND: To get out of a ticket, just make the cop laugh.
COP: Do you know why I pulled you over?
ME: Uh oh here comes the tickle monster
— John Kennedy (@FrazzleMyGimp) October 29, 2020
me: I wish my dad was alive
dad: *stuck in a coffin* oh no not again
— Adamned Cerious (@Browtweaten) October 30, 2020
[guy about to invent mint chocolate]
*eating ice cream* u know what this needs. toothpaste.
— randy (@randypaint) October 27, 2020
the state of wisconsin or whoever: you have the right to vote but our only polling location is on top of mount everest sorry thats just how we’re set up
the supreme court: this is legal
— I already voted (@InternetHippo) October 30, 2020
[first day as a negotiator]
— human aaron (@humanaaron) October 29, 2020
FREE HIM pic.twitter.com/7zr1tMRKe8
— Gators Daily 🐊 (@GatorsDaily) October 30, 2020
LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS (2002)
⭐️ out of 4
Counted at least 7 towers. This movie is bullshit
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) October 29, 2020