Welcome to the Best of Twitter Spa! With us, you get your very personal all-inclusive feel-good program! We really have everything! Internet massages, children’s program, Coleslaw face masks, tandems bike fitness course and to relax a live episode Black Mirror! We wish you a relaxing expierence!
The internet has made it so easy to spread misinformation. If you wanted to hear a completely unhinged conspiracy theory in the 1970s, you had to know a guy
— incorrigible mozart goose (@_jazzghost_) September 1, 2020
The way we speak to our children will become their inner voice that's why I try my best to speak with a British accent.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) September 2, 2020
What the hell is cole slaw. Someone was just like I love mayo so much HOWEVER. you know what would make it better. Cabbage.
— Glenn (@Shenaniglenns) August 31, 2020
Dog people vs cat people pic.twitter.com/uSaM1wNSER
— Trey Kennedy (@TreyNKennedy) September 1, 2020
Thinking about the time that I said that I was distantly related to Marie Curie and a guy explained “It’s pronounced Mariah Carey”
— Eileen Mary O’Connell (@i_Lean) September 1, 2020
u heard of tandem bikes, now get ready for 𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕞 𝕛𝕖𝕒𝕟𝕤. that's right. two people. one pants. fight climate change with denim today
— james (@videojames_) September 1, 2020
Fact: kids have 2 stomachs. One is the meal stomach. It's about the size of a pea. This is why children cannot consume a full breakfast, lunch, dinner.
The second stomach is the snack stomach. This stomach stretches and has infinite amount of space.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) August 28, 2020
I designed a mask for people who want to stay safe but still look like they're a fucking idiot pic.twitter.com/vtFPN4txRm
— Austin Wolf-Sothern (@wolfsothern) August 31, 2020
Slowly coming to terms with the realization that the last movie I'll ever see in theaters was Sonic the Hedgehog.
— Alan Denton (@AlanTheWriter) September 1, 2020
Friend: *sends me a five minute video* bro you're gonna love this
Me: *replies three minutes later* yeah dude for sure, loved it.
— Quilliam (@nyquills) August 26, 2020