Have you noticed that in some countries clubs will be opened again soon? Of course, only with mask duty. Then what about flirting? The come-on lines are nothing more than “You have such beautiful eyes.” Boring. And spending someone a drink with a mask doesn’t work as well. We also shouldn’t forget the risk of infection. Conclusion: Better don’t do it! But why don’t you let us buy you daily? It’s completely risk-free and will make you laugh for sure!
REPORTER: sir, your critics claim you've been negligent on covid
TRUMP: i don't pay any attention to that
REPORTER: yeah that's what they say
— Ian Dukes Injustice Rejecter (@ianpauldukes) September 21, 2020
I had no idea that so much of my married life would be spent rearranging the dishwasher.
— ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ (@3sunzzz) September 21, 2020
Okay, my phone is ridiculously aesthetic now pic.twitter.com/za1oNn5STZ
— 〈/body〉 (@bodyEndTag) September 21, 2020
If you have five 5-hour energy drinks in one day, you unlock the Forbidden Hour
— claypilled (@otter_weekend) September 21, 2020
you shouldn’t be able to hold elected office after age 75 sorry
— kylie brakeman (@deadeyebrakeman) September 21, 2020
I hate what Pinterest did to google image search
— Kyle Chayka (@chaykak) September 21, 2020
If the monster under your bed never hurt you, maybe it's there to protect you.
— Shower Thoughts (@TheWeirdWorld) September 21, 2020
it is never too late. to go back to bed
— Thoughts of Dog® (@dog_feelings) September 21, 2020
Homosexuality is not a choice, but if it were I would highly recommend it.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) September 22, 2020
remember when a lemur singing “I Like To Move It” was the funniest thing you had ever seen in your entire life
— jamie (@jaemmmmmm) September 21, 2020