This question here is to all the men out there. Who has tried using that as an excuse? I mean it’s wrong to think about other women while you’re in bed with your partner, but I think it happens every once in a while. It is Friday, and the lads should be going out to get lucky. So if you do get caught thinking about someone else, you know what to do. Power to all the women out there! Enjoy.
#1:
You don’t know real horror unless you’ve texted someone and then they call.
— OMG, Becky! (@thehubrispanda) September 3, 2020
#2:
6-year-old: Can I have a snack?
Me: No. Then you won't eat your dinner.
6: I won't eat my dinner anyway.
Her honesty is not appreciated.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 3, 2020
#3:
Wife: I want a divorce because your enthusiasm's turned into bitter sarcasm
Tony the Tiger: great
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) September 4, 2020
#4:
[in a world where Disney world doesn’t exist]
Reporter: you’ve just won the super bowl what are you gonna go do
Tom Brady: I… I don’t know
Reporter: tom?
Tom: [wanders off lost and confused] what does tom do after big game
— John Kennedy (@FrazzleMyGimp) September 4, 2020
#5:
me: you look amazing
waiter: thanks
wife: he was talking to me
me: *staring at cheesecake*
— Red's Surreal Vehicle (@surrealvehicle) September 3, 2020
#6:
murderer: *swings bat at me and misses*
me: strike 1
murderer: thats not how this works *swings bat*
me: strike 2. one more and ur out
murderer: [under breath] fuck
— cory (@harvardgraduat) September 4, 2020
#7:
Everyone’s waiting for 2021 as if COVID expires December 31st 💀
— ً (@RJ_XXIV) September 2, 2020
#8:
[during sex]
her: are you.. are you thinking about other women again?me: *tearing up* you're all just so brave and strong
— john (@mrjohndarby) September 4, 2020
#9:
men cum in 60 seconds and say they wanna make a sex tape.. you mean a tik tok bro?
— edm twinkie🕷🌙 (@superdupersimp) September 3, 2020
#10:
Cat *from 10 feet away*: ᴍᴇᴏᴡ
Me: What’s up?
Cat: Meow
Me: Do you want to be pet? Come here
Cat: MEOW
Me: Do you need food?
Cat: 𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐖
Me: Ok fine I’ll come to you *starts to get up*
Cat: *runs away like it’s seen a ghost*
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) September 4, 2020
