Do you know what unicorns eat? Or why you can’t leave reviews in dating apps? Or what a Spa Day does for dogs? We’ll answer all these questions in today’s Daily. Have fun!
#1:
no one warned me parenting would include being held hostage until I find an acceptable answer to what unicorns eat
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 3, 2020
#2:
to prevent theft, the declaration of independence is now locked in a nicolas cage
— linc (@lincnotfound) September 4, 2020
#3:
Germans returning from a trip to a country where the bread isn’t good. https://t.co/m8kvQvCVB7
— The Unburnt 🔥 (@daiyahimecos) September 4, 2020
#4:
if i did go to therapy i would probably need a second therapist to go to after and talk about how i think my first therapist secretly hates me
— ꧁𝕸𝖆𝖉𝖎𝖒𝖔𝖎𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖊꧂ (@drivingmemadi) September 3, 2020
#5:
My ex husband popped up on a dating app as a potential match. Too bad you can’t leave reviews on other people’s profiles.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) September 4, 2020
#6:
I only date men for all that extra pocket space
— queen joheen (@queenjoheen) September 5, 2020
#7:
I bought silk pyjamas to go with our new silk sheets. I jumped into bed and woke up in my neighbour’s flower bed
— Lord Hugh Mungus (@PoodleSnarf) September 1, 2020
#8:
Took these pictures after picking him up from a spa day and this fool sitting there w a big smile and winked at me 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/bQvW9j83uf
— Shentaaa (@tay03100) September 4, 2020
#9:
I don’t understand how i’m getting oreo crumbs in the bed if im swallowing them whole
— ms pippershnippetz – blue check mark (@lolumOKUR) September 5, 2020
#10:
An emergency vehicle siren but replace it with Owen Wilson’s “wow”
— Swim Jeans👖 (@ShortSleeveSuit) September 5, 2020
