One day on venus takes about 116 days and 18 hours on earth. That is about roughly the same amount of time an average Monday lasts, when you are at work, school or college. Time is stretching endless like chewing gum, everything you do feels point- and useless. All you want is to go home, open a beer or a bottle of wine and read some fine twitter gold that helps you to forget your struggles. So here is our Daily. Enjoy!
i feel so bad when i overtake an old person on the sidewalk like man i really didn't mean to flex on you with my youthful stride
— rishi! (@rishipuff) September 3, 2020
“you’re so funny” thanks i did not have sex in high school
— Ely Kreimendollface (@ElyKreimendahl) September 4, 2020
my dad: you'll understand when you're older
me, 25: literally what the fuck is happening ever
— that one seal (@ellewasamistake) September 4, 2020
they’re best friends🥺 pic.twitter.com/kTNDr38jzI
— a vessel for pure hatred (@keyIimelacroix) September 2, 2020
cannot believe people lie to their therapists…if i paid that much money you’ll hear the sequel the prequel and the spin off☝️!
— 😃 (@mmasssii) September 4, 2020
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) September 4, 2020
Yesterday I had a lot of retweets and reddit posts and such for playing Doom on a pregnancy test.
But as I explained then, it wasn't really PLAYING on a pregnancy test, it was just a video being played back, not an interactive game.
Well, now it is. It's Pregnancy Test Doom! pic.twitter.com/Nrjyq07EVv
— foone (@Foone) September 7, 2020
i wanna suck the covid out of robert pattinson
— ᶜᵒⁿˢᵗᵃⁿᵗⁱⁿᵉ (@greenIight) September 3, 2020
Captcha: Please verify you’re not a robot. Select all boxes with a crosswalk
Captcha: Select all boxes that illustrate the concept of unconditional love
Captcha: Cut your hand and hold it up to your webcam
Me: Wait no
Captcha: I want to see you bleed
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) September 5, 2020
When I die I hope as many people as possible use my death as an excuse to get out of work
— C.H.U.D.ney Spears (@chudneyspears) September 6, 2020