I use to be a window shopper, and my bank account was safe. Just walking around the mall and shopping with my eyes, but with technology, things have changed. Now I’m on Amazon just buying things that I don’t even need. I look for a coffee mug and it shows me what other people bought with it. For example, buy this coffee mug and a coffee maker 3000 and an iMac Pro. And then I go, sure why not, and now I’m eating Ramen Noodles for the month just to get by. Anyways, we hope you enjoy today’s Daily!
#1:
america: a ‘free’ country where the only thing you don’t have to pay for is death
— kie (@kieransofar) September 8, 2020
#2:
6-year-old: How many Pokémon can you name?
Me: A few.
6: I thought you went to college.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 8, 2020
#3:
one time I invited this girl over and we got high and I sat down and explained the entire plot line of Skyrim to her for 45 minutes and she still had sex with me it was unbelievable
— bobby wasabi (@bIondiewasabi) September 7, 2020
#4:
you ever spend so much money that you’re scared to check your bank balance
— Shafeeq (@Y2SHAF) September 7, 2020
#5:
4-year-old: I can't find my shoes.
Me: Where's the last place you saw them?
4: My feet.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 8, 2020
#6:
me: I bought a gun because of my bird phobia
therapist: you might be getting carried away
me: *firing into the ceiling* not without a fight
— Adam Cerious (@Browtweaten) September 7, 2020
#7:
when i was 22 i dated a guy who was 27 who broke up w me because we were “just at different places in our lives” and then he told me “for example i have to stretch every morning”
— steph mccann (@steph_mcca) September 8, 2020
#8:
WAP stands for
What
Are you doing in my swam
P— marc (@moranmarc13) September 7, 2020
#9:
me: *on one knee* will u marry me
her: OMG ye–
me: no worries if not lol
her: i will absolutely marry yo–
me: like seriously so sorry for the inconvenience
— thomas 🍌 (@perfectsweeties) September 7, 2020
#10:
When I die I’m donating my body to a hydraulic press YouTube channel
— honest jabe (@jaynooch) September 6, 2020
