Kids are like horror movies: When it gets quiet, something terrible is going to happen. Here are 12 of the best Tweets about our always loved children!
#1:
Having daughters is great if you want to get yelled at every time you hit a butterfly with your car.
— Goats? (@Gooooats) April 20, 2015
#2:
If you were thinking of having kids, just know my 5 yr old daughter is upset and crying because her 3 yr old sister likes the same color as her.
— Mama•Is•Tired (@MomOf2Happas) September 24, 2019
#3:
Me: *annoyed that 3yo never wants to get in the bath and then never wants to get out of bath*
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) November 13, 2019
Also me: *procrastinates getting in the shower because comfy and lazy and then doesn’t want to get out of the shower because comfy and lazy*
#4:
Flash back to the day my daughter spilled her juice by her baby and it looked like a crime scene. #Moms #momlife #dadlife #sahm #parenting #Parenthood #toddlers pic.twitter.com/oDK6M1YcNZ
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) June 11, 2018
#5:
Trying to explain what a synagogue is to my toddler.
— Manic Mama (@JannaKilimnik) October 9, 2019
3: when I was Jewish, I would go there
Me: WHEN you were jewish? What are you now?
3: I'm Batman
#6:
Me: *angrily putting my son’s toys away* I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.
— the drake gatsby 🔨 (@DrakeGatsby) November 13, 2019
Son: What’d I do?!
Me: Do you honestly think Peppa Pig could beat Darth fucking Vader in a fight.
#7:
When you want to have fun but not too much fun. pic.twitter.com/6AGGNFirvO
— 𖤐 Father Drinks McGee 𖤐 (@drinksmcgee) November 12, 2019
#8:
Wife: use animal names instead of curse words around the kids please.
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) November 15, 2019
Me: like snake instead of sh-
Wife: yes.
Me: like duck instead of fu-
Wife: yes.
Me: like ass instead of ass?
Wife:
Me: what? it’s an animal lol.
Daughter: [whispers] he’s ducked.
#9:
— The Dad (@thedad) November 6, 2019
#10:
[15 years from now]
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) November 7, 2019
Interviewer: Tell me something that you’ve accomplished in your life so far.
My kid: Well, I have given my mom LOTS of Twitter material over the years.
#11:
Flying over the streets i grew up on pic.twitter.com/FvU62UXNKE
— duo (@duolingous) November 14, 2019
#12:
me, as a child: you must love cooking
— jo diggity (@WhaJoTalkinBout) November 10, 2019
lunch lady: *hands me a tray* nope
me: you must love kids then
lunch lady: *ashes her cig in my mashed potatoes* nope
