Kids are like horror movies: When it gets quiet, something terrible is going to happen. Here are 12 of the best Tweets about our always loved children!
Having daughters is great if you want to get yelled at every time you hit a butterfly with your car.— Goats? (@Gooooats) April 20, 2015
If you were thinking of having kids, just know my 5 yr old daughter is upset and crying because her 3 yr old sister likes the same color as her.— Mama•Is•Tired (@MomOf2Happas) September 24, 2019
Me: *annoyed that 3yo never wants to get in the bath and then never wants to get out of bath*— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) November 13, 2019
Also me: *procrastinates getting in the shower because comfy and lazy and then doesn’t want to get out of the shower because comfy and lazy*
Trying to explain what a synagogue is to my toddler.— Manic Mama (@JannaKilimnik) October 9, 2019
3: when I was Jewish, I would go there
Me: WHEN you were jewish? What are you now?
3: I'm Batman
Me: *angrily putting my son’s toys away* I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.— the drake gatsby 🔨 (@DrakeGatsby) November 13, 2019
Son: What’d I do?!
Me: Do you honestly think Peppa Pig could beat Darth fucking Vader in a fight.
When you want to have fun but not too much fun. pic.twitter.com/6AGGNFirvO— 𖤐 Father Drinks McGee 𖤐 (@drinksmcgee) November 12, 2019
Wife: use animal names instead of curse words around the kids please.— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) November 15, 2019
Me: like snake instead of sh-
Me: like duck instead of fu-
Me: like ass instead of ass?
Me: what? it’s an animal lol.
Daughter: [whispers] he’s ducked.
[15 years from now]— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) November 7, 2019
Interviewer: Tell me something that you’ve accomplished in your life so far.
My kid: Well, I have given my mom LOTS of Twitter material over the years.
Flying over the streets i grew up on pic.twitter.com/FvU62UXNKE— duo (@duolingous) November 14, 2019
me, as a child: you must love cooking— jo diggity (@WhaJoTalkinBout) November 10, 2019
lunch lady: *hands me a tray* nope
me: you must love kids then
lunch lady: *ashes her cig in my mashed potatoes* nope