BREAKING: new coronavirus cases in the united states trending downward as country runs out of alive citizens to infect

Best of Twitter from August 11, 2020

Breaking News of the day: Ben Shapiro’s Dirty Talk has been released. The number of infections in the U. S. is falling and we have information for you about what Snapchat Memories do to you. …

real estate agent: this house has 1 bedroom, 50 hallways, and it's haunted. pacman: sold

Best of Twitter from August 10, 2020

Suprise! Guess what’s back? Starts with an M like meh and ends with y like in crying. Nobody wants it, nobody needs it. But here is the sucker anyway. Yes, you are absolutely right. Monday …

Best of Twitter from August 8, 2020

It’s finally summer, that means grilling in parks while teenagers are listening to some sort of things they call „music“. Enjoying public pools with families nearby, whose kids are screaming nonstop while they’re walking all …

A dog has to be one of the most patient animals in the world. I mean that explains why my dog is so excited when I come home. My dog is just so happy that he has to bite one pair of my Adidas or tear all my trash up. My dog misses me, but we won't hold you up any longer. We know you miss us and our Daily. So I present to you our Best of Twitter from Today!

Best of Twitter from August 7, 2020

A dog has to be one of the most patient animals in the world. I mean that explains why my dog is so excited when I come home. My dog is just so happy that …

Fuck a breakup you ever watched a 12 episode anime in a day & realize it didnt have a second season?

Best of Twitter from August 6, 2020

Some of us are still sitting in the home office and wish to return to normality. Meanwhile in Europe, especially in Spain, there are already signs of a second wave of Covid-19. We’ll see what …

I would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew life was gon be like this

Best of Twitter from August 5, 2020

Today we have another great cinema for you! With us today: Marvel with his 2020 film adaptation. The second part of Bad Moms with the title ‚Pandemic Moms‘ and of course another movie with Donald …

Best of Twitter from August 4, 2020

I hope everyone survived the evil Monday(tm), we really can’t afford to lose any followers in this economy. And it would be a shame, because we’re bringing joy and ice cream to celebrate another week …

Serparating your laundry by color is a myth created by big detergent to sell more laundry sauce

Best of Twitter from August 3, 2020

Hello there. Monday is the day of the week between Sunday and Tuesday. According to international standards it is the first day of the week. Also it is the most hated one. But don’t worry, …

"Whenever I'm mad at you, I go on Goodreads and read one-star reviews of your books." -My daughter

Best of Twitter from August 2, 2020

We hope you all had a wonderful summer weekend. Warm temperatures, lots of sunshine, good food, chilling at a lake or by the sea, maybe a nice barbecue with friends. And what would not be …