me: my parents aren’t home 911: we can’t help you with your capri sun straw

Best of Twitter from October 5, 2020

Why didn’t you listen and stayed in bed? We’ve tried to warn you yesterday! And now it’s Monday already! We can’t save you from that or prevent you from going nuts like a 74-year-old-man on …

Being an elder millennial is having committed your childhood best friend's landline to memory but not your current partner's cell phone.

Best of Twitter from October 4, 2020

Sunday is Funday!?? Whoever said that must have been a lucky rich man or just a badass without fears. We’re talking about tomorrow, right? Just to be clear. It’s okay to hate Monday. It’s okay …

Best of Twitter from October 3, 2020

Trump being the latest victim (who laughed?) of Covid-19 is still a hot topic and dominating Twitter. In the last days several other people from his staff got infected in mysterious ways, almost like there’s …

yes, sharks can outswim you. but you can outrun sharks. so far in a triathlon you’re square. all comes down to who’s the faster cyclist

Best of Twitter from October 2, 2020

What a day! Not only the news that Donald Trump and his wife Melania have tested positive for Covid-19 (at least they claim), also GOP operatives Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman were charged with four …

Men are too emotional to be president.

Best of Twitter from October 1, 2020

Have all of you recovered from the first presidential debate? We know, it wasn’t easy to watch, but on the bright side: At least we didn’t need to go home in order to observe old …

“i’m a 90’s kid” no you’re a 30 year old man

Best of Twitter from September 30, 2020

The debate over the presidency between Donald Trump and Joe Biden was on the world’s mind and resembled more a show fight than a debate. We at Best of Twitter were also concerned with it …

Best of Twitter from September 29, 2020

While Election Day is getting closer, the attacks and discussions are reaching a new level of agression and personal attacks. From both sides, if I may add. There was a time when „I think both …

mario’s parties suck ass imagine you go to your friends house and there’s no beer and he’s like let’s play tug of war with my brother and my wife

Best of Twitter from September 28, 2020

Some people can scream for an hour or longer without their voices giving up or damaging them. In fact they learned to scream correctly. It is unclear if the first screamer discovered this technique on …

Instead of telling children “kids in Africa are starving,” let’s say “some kids in your class go to bed hungry.” That way we can help remove racial/cultural stereotypes and also give children a more accurate and applicable view of poverty.

Best of Twitter from September 27, 2020

Do you enjoy the first autumn weekend? We certainly do, yet there’s still time left for our hunt for the best tweets of the day. And here comes our Daily for you!

Best of Twitter from September 26, 2020

It’s Saturday, it’s rainy, it’s getting colder and darker. In short, spooky season just started. What better time is there to get cozy at home and having a hot chocolate, after summoning a dark being …