Are you taken, single or still mentally dating a celebrity that has actually no idea that you exist? Well don’t worry because we got you covered. If your someone who doesn’t know how to date or who to date, you have come to the right place. We got it covered with 13 funny Tweets about dating.
Ladies, what’s something a guy did for you that you thought was the sweetest thing ever then realized your bar was literally on the floor? Mine was when my ex stopped at CVS to buy a $2 scrunchie for me when we were driving with the windows down bc my hair was getting messed up
— dumb bitch safe space (@tinderdistrict) January 7, 2020
Dating a smart girl is like dating a detective who is on the case of why you suck.
— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) May 4, 2016
what she’s looking for
-$10,000 wedding ring
what I have to offer
– wii sports
– wii sports resort
– super mario bros wii
— Kellogg’s Hard Lemonade (@1998hondacoupe) January 10, 2020
I told the guy im dating to stop sending me the same generic snapchats that he sends to all of his hoes and he responded by saying “okay” instead of “i don’t have any other hoes” so congratulations kendra you played yourself
— kendra (@kendraaaleighh) December 5, 2019
date: so what do you do
me: *holding up menu* you just choose a meal from this book of food
— cian maher (@cianmaher0) December 5, 2019
would I date a hockey player? yes and here’s why. he can teach me how to ice skate, the one thing I can’t do, rendering me unstoppable. plus if the situation called for it he would definitely punch someone for me so 10/10
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 27, 2019
Date *romantically opens car door for me*
Date: Just get out
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) November 14, 2019
I went on a total of six (6) dates last week and for all of you in relationships who could ever be wondering "WHAT COULD BE OUT THERE?" let me tell you….absolutely fucking nothing.
— corey kindberg (@coreykindberg) December 2, 2019
i know you’re supposed to fuck on the third date but when are you allowed to take a shit in their bathroom
— colleen (@Coll3enG) November 30, 2019
slept with a guy last night who had a pokémon ball rug and i was losing my mind at it and he goes “you can tweet about it tomorrow”
— alexa (@playnikes) December 8, 2019
Me getting ready for date night:
Shower, make dinner for kids, try to put make up on, get kid a snack, put make up on again, do my hair, referee sibling fight, get dressed.
Sits in a chair & asks why I’m not ready yet.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 11, 2020
Him: i love you.
Me: i don’t believe you.
Him: *cuts my sandwich into little triangles*
— Mummy Dear 🇨🇦 🤦🏼♀️ (@ThatMummyLife) January 7, 2020
when i was in college this guy came over with chocolate, went down on me, and left. fifteen years later it’s still the best relationship i’ve ever had
— Laurazepam (@andlikelaura) December 30, 2019
Want more? Here are some funny Tweets about Relationships