A doctor visit growing up meant getting out of school early. A doctor visit now means, asking how long I have left to live. That is of course, if the doctor that prescribed you was Dr. Google. We all know how quickly a red rash on the body means that I have the Chicken Pox. Either way, here are 16 Tweets about Doctors.
12 year old me coming back to school with McDonald’s after my doctor's appointment
— Cryptic (@CrypticNoOne) February 21, 2020
Woman: "I'd like a sperm donor who's tall, smart, and healthy."
*doctor punches woman*
Doctor: "Only nazis support eugenics, and it's okay to punch nazis."
— Boomieleaks (@Boomieleaks) February 16, 2020
I’m playing doctor with my 4 yr old, he’s checking my stomach with a thermometer and grabs the lotion…
Me: What’s wrong with me Doc
Him: You got a fever and you ashy
Who do I call to get this doctor up out of here? I’m tired of this doctor’s office. Enough is enough.
— mom (@CoachPSays) February 15, 2020
Doctor: I have good news and bad news
Doctor: the good news is 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance
Me: what’s the bad news?
Doctor: you don’t have that long
— clean slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) February 21, 2020
Doctor: I was gonna ask if you’re sexually active but..
Mingi, wearing a T-Rex costume: but what?
— incorrect ateez quotes (@correctateez) February 21, 2020
Attending: Ok present the patient you just saw
Me: Patient is a 32yo woman…
[7 min later]
Me: so anyway that’s why she moved to Brooklyn with her new fiancé even though Aunt Lisa said it would upset her father—
Attending: But why is she here?
Me: oh she needs a med refill
— Shailin Thomas (@shailinthomas) February 23, 2020
doctor: I'm afraid your husband died
wife: but he's walking around
doctor: that's why I'm afraid
— john (@mrjohndarby) February 15, 2020
doctor: describe your average night
me: they wear suits of armor
doctor: no I mean at bedtime
me: they probably take it off
— ⚠️maxx⚠️ (@climaxximus) January 15, 2020
i broke my wrist. my doctor said to make sure to keep ice on it pic.twitter.com/NiQC6C2huV
— michael💞 (@sadboimikey) February 23, 2020
It finally happened! The flight attendant asked „is there a doctor on this flight?“ and I leapt up and said yes!
Did a tracheotomy at 30,000ft with a razor blade and ballpoint pen.
He didn’t make it, but the thrill was undeniable. Thinking of going to doctor school now.
— ashi 🏳️🌈 (@rakshesha) February 23, 2020
Flight attendant: Is there a doctor on this flight?
Dad: *nudging me* that should've been you
Me: Not now Dad
Dad: Not asking for a cinematographer to help, are they?
Me: Dad, there's a medical emergency happening right now
Dad: Go and see if “moody lighting" helps
— Jackson Hayes (@jacksonhvisuals) November 26, 2019
Walked in on my girls appointment with her new gynecologist, Chet. It’s crazy that he does house calls at 7pm on Sundays, but that work ethic is probably why he’s already a doctor at 21 years old.
— nick (@nickturani) November 11, 2019
Flight attendant: Is there a doctor onboard?
Dad: *nudging me* that should’ve been you
Me: Not now Dad
Dad: Not asking for a Product Manager to help, are they?
Me: Dad, there’s a medical emergency happening right now
Dad: Go and see if “let’s have a follow-up meeting“ helps
— Laura Gao ✌️ (@heylauragao) November 26, 2019
eye doctor: your results aren’t good
me: can I see them
eye doctor: probably not
— ⚠️maxx⚠️ (@climaxximus) January 24, 2020
doctors: it is just a normal headache
— brook (@Iovingbaes) February 22, 2020
the doctor in the other room after I give him my pee for urine testing: pic.twitter.com/YxjpqcIdLB
— logan (@piloht) November 3, 2019