Let’s be honest: who of you has ever kept their New Year’s resolutions? Exactly, hardly anyone. ( To those who made it: respect!) We brought you the 11 funniest Tweets about New Year’s resolutions today and wish you a great start into 2021!
#1:
New Year's Resolutions
1. Boop more shnoops
2. See more floofs
3. Increase pettings by 15%
4. Pet a dog in a different car while driving— WeRateDogs® (@dog_rates) December 31, 2016
#2:
Telling people your New Years resolution so you'll "be accountable" is a great way to find out that no one cares about your resolution.
— Donna McCoy (@Donna_McCoy) December 29, 2016
#3:
Startup idea: a gym named Resolution that runs for the 1st month of the year, collects subscription fee, then converts to a bar named Regret
— Siddharth Singh (@siddharth3) December 27, 2016
#4:
I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, because you can start a healthy habit and give up three days later ANY time of year.
— Ari Scott (@ariscott) January 2, 2016
#5:
"See you next year!" on New Year's Eve is the Super Bowl of Dad Jokes. Congrats to all the guys out there named Rick and Wayne today living the dream
— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) December 31, 2017
#6:
I’m trying to complete my 2018 New Year’s resolution list. To sum it up, I have 25 hours to lose 38 pounds. Serious suggestions only, please.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) December 30, 2018
#7:
“New year, new me,” is a fun thing to say while committing identity theft.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) January 1, 2018
#8:
My New Year's resolution is to be more efficient. So I'm giving up on it right now instead of wasting all January acting like I can achieve it.
— Ali Spagnola (@alispagnola) December 30, 2018
#9:
I guess my grandma just made my New Years resolution for me pic.twitter.com/uDqG3XbRVJ
— George Hart (@hartattack99) December 30, 2018
#10:
New Years Resolution: find out what’s in pop tarts
— Timothy Granaderos (@TGranaderos) December 26, 2018
#11:
New year new me
New year new m
New year new
New year ne
New year n
New year
New yea
New ye
New y
New
Ne
N
Ne
Nev
Neve
Never
Never m
Never mi
Never min
Never mind
Never mind f
Never mind fo
Never mind forg
Never mind forge
Never mind forget
Never mind forget i
Never mind forget it— James I. (@jamesxingleton) December 26, 2018
