Let’s be honest: who of you has ever kept their New Year’s resolutions? Exactly, hardly anyone. ( To those who made it: respect!) We brought you the 11 funniest Tweets about New Year’s resolutions today and wish you a great start into 2021!
New Year's Resolutions
1. Boop more shnoops
2. See more floofs
3. Increase pettings by 15%
4. Pet a dog in a different car while driving
— WeRateDogs® (@dog_rates) December 31, 2016
Telling people your New Years resolution so you'll "be accountable" is a great way to find out that no one cares about your resolution.
— Donna McCoy (@Donna_McCoy) December 29, 2016
Startup idea: a gym named Resolution that runs for the 1st month of the year, collects subscription fee, then converts to a bar named Regret
— Siddharth Singh (@siddharth3) December 27, 2016
I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, because you can start a healthy habit and give up three days later ANY time of year.
— Ari Scott (@ariscott) January 2, 2016
"See you next year!" on New Year's Eve is the Super Bowl of Dad Jokes. Congrats to all the guys out there named Rick and Wayne today living the dream
— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) December 31, 2017
I’m trying to complete my 2018 New Year’s resolution list. To sum it up, I have 25 hours to lose 38 pounds. Serious suggestions only, please.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) December 30, 2018
“New year, new me,” is a fun thing to say while committing identity theft.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) January 1, 2018
My New Year's resolution is to be more efficient. So I'm giving up on it right now instead of wasting all January acting like I can achieve it.
— Ali Spagnola (@alispagnola) December 30, 2018
I guess my grandma just made my New Years resolution for me pic.twitter.com/uDqG3XbRVJ
— George Hart (@hartattack99) December 30, 2018
New Years Resolution: find out what’s in pop tarts
— Timothy Granaderos (@TGranaderos) December 26, 2018
New year new me
New year new m
New year new
New year ne
New year n
Never mind f
Never mind fo
Never mind forg
Never mind forge
Never mind forget
Never mind forget i
Never mind forget it
— James I. (@jamesxingleton) December 26, 2018