Back then in our initial period, Dad called us Best of Twitter. And today we want to honour this name and fulfill our duty. It’s the reason we’re still alive. It’s the reason we laugh. It is the reason that our editorial office exists. Yeah, I’m talking about Twitter. This post is a tribute to the site that has already brought us so much joy, made us cry and yes, damned us, with which we earn our money. We have for you today: 12 great tweets about the mother of all laughter โ Twitter!
#1:
[during sex]
Why don't you ever retweet me?
— ho baby ๐ (@ThisLocalHater) January 5, 2020
#2:
Wife: we need to talk about your ridiculous obsession with Twitter
Me: how do u spell obses-
Wife: don't you fucking tweet this
— Quilliam (@nyquills) January 18, 2020
#3:
Twitter time is like dog years except unlike dogs, tweets donโt get unconditional love and theyโre not all good boys
— pilau (@FU_TangClan) January 12, 2020
#4:
[creating twitter account]
TWITTER: ok whatโs ur name
ME: eli
TWITTER: well hello there Eli weโre gonna call u Eli7820991 unless u can somehow come up with a better name also just a heads up if u are lucky enough to gain some followers here, it will consume ur life. have fun!
— eli needs to focus on work for a few days (@jazz_inmypants) January 19, 2020
#5:
Don't drink and Tweet
— Twitter (@Twitter) January 11, 2020
#6:
My worst fear on this site is that I accidentally like a post from a bad person, and instead of informing me, some unemployed 22 year old decides to call me out while I'm probably on the toilet or some shit
— Mlick (@Mlickles) January 11, 2020
#7:
Me: I made a tweet!
My brain: did anybody press the Button
Me: many people pressed the Button
Brain: excellent. you may now have ๐ฏ๐ฝ๐ ๐ข๐๐๐น ๐๐ฝ๐๐๐พ๐ธ๐ถ๐๐
โ soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) September 12, 2019
#8:
Those who can have sex, do.
Those who cannot, tweet.
โ que cera sarah ๐คท (@dooz_er) January 8, 2020
#9:
Twitter, the most fun you can have on a toilet
โ Leggy Pain ๐จ๐ฆ (@coffeeandvinyl1) January 6, 2020
#10:
Twitter is great if you can’t afford therapy but you also don’t want to get any better.
โ Michael, the Man Who Tweets ๐ถ (@Home_Halfway) June 15, 2019
#11:
no one on this fucking website knows what โmanicโ means and i think thatโs beautiful
— dirt prince (@pant_leg) November 30, 2019
#12:
does anyone on this website know what itโs like to be in love
— James (@CaucasianJames) December 1, 2019
