Christmas is here and for those who don’t have all christmas presents already( and we know, you are many!) , remember, there are only two days left, the stores are open! So hurry up guys! For those who have already everything and can relax, we have the top 10 Tweets of this week! Have fun!
#1:
me: hey can we pick up my mom on the way to church
uber: sure
me: cool I’ll cancel the hearse
— jo diggity (@WhaJoTalkinBout) December 20, 2019
#2:
[having sex]
her: talk to me ur too quietme: thanks for doing this
— james 🍄 (@donttouchjames) December 17, 2019
#3:
focus on a different child every time you watch 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/gGpowtXKGP
— Ree 🍯🍭 (@TTPrettyInPink) December 13, 2019
#4:
Me: what do you want the kids to call you?
Mom: grandma.
Dad: grandad.
Me: you know you can pick literally anything right?
Mom: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Dad: Bruce Wayne.
Me: [sigh] grandma and grandad it is.
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) December 17, 2019
#5:
"I'm the Captain now" pic.twitter.com/wm77Y1qoGp
— wHyZgUy (@_WhyzGuy_) December 18, 2019
#6:
Cop: *gestures for me to roll down my window*
Me, a millennial who has no idea what his circle gesture means: no I don’t have any donuts.
— Ordinary (@OrdinaryAlso) December 19, 2019
#7:
“THIS COULD HAVE BEEN A FUCKING EMAIL, TRENT.” pic.twitter.com/qsLYVLimr8
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) December 17, 2019
#8:
this girl told me she likes pulling my hair while i go down on her because it makes her feel like remy from ratatouille i-
— mate (@AlwaysAButt) December 20, 2019
#9:
It’s actually Dr. whatever pic.twitter.com/a7VGPqyhe9
— Michael Drummond (@RadReboundRxn) December 17, 2019
#10:
It’s almost time for you to not get kissed under the mistletoe and not get kissed on New Year's.
— Professor Snape (@_Snape_) December 21, 2019
