There are a few things that seems to be constant when it comes to media. The young attractive blonde in horror movies always has to get something out of the house or a car, while her friends keep reminding her that a violent killer could be a very good reason to run like hell and NOT worry about a purse. The mysterious stranger with a dark past always has survived a family related tragedy, which of course made him a better and very sophisticated person. And the wife of a serial killer never had any idea about her husband’s hobby, although there were a few (aka a ton) of clues. Advertisement
#1:
Hello I am the protagonist of a psychological thriller. My name is Girl McWife. I have never asked the man I married a single question in all the years I have known him.
— Elle M. (they/them) (@ellle_em) May 31, 2021
#2:
Perhaps I should have been at least a bit curious when he mentioned he has a twin brother that «no one ever talks about» or that his father «mysteriously disappeared one summer 18 years ago» or that the man his mother married is a «literal mob boss» but eh, who cares!
— Elle M. (they/them) (@ellle_em) May 31, 2021
#3:
My hobbies–besides being uninterested in where my husband goes on the third weekend of every month & why he comes back looking beat-up & broodingly silent–are being ashamed of myself because the other Wives in my cul-de-sac/neighborhood/tennis club are all better than me
— Elle M. (they/them) (@ellle_em) May 31, 2021
#4:
Maybe I have children! If they are older children, I will also never ask them questions about anything ever because I want to be a Cool Mom like the other Wives and who cares if my son comes home covered in dirt & blood, muttering «I’m sorry, I’m so sorry» over and over again
— Elle M. (they/them) (@ellle_em) May 31, 2021
#5:
Oh no! My husband mysteriously disappeared! This is completely unexpected! What will I do now? The other Wives will laugh at me! Also someone left a threatening note in my mailbox and a bloody human hand on my pillow but I don’t think I’m going to pay too much attention to that
— Elle M. (they/them) (@ellle_em) May 31, 2021
#6:
Maybe this is a good time to vaguely remember The Incident, a thing that happened some undisclosed number of years ago to me but I doubt The Incident is why everyone I know treats me like a bomb about to explode like, what are the odds of those things being related
— Elle M. (they/them) (@ellle_em) May 31, 2021
#7:
Wait do I have kids? I think I do! Anyway my son’s girlfriend was found dead in a field! And she left a note in her diary saying Son of Girl McWife might have murdered me. But like, that couldn’t be real.
I also think this is when I start having disturbing flashbacks
— Elle M. (they/them) (@ellle_em) May 31, 2021
#8:
or maybe start talking to a ghost.
But none of these things are related!
Oh wait that police officer private investigator lawyer who is trying to put me in jail is very attractive
— Elle M. (they/them) (@ellle_em) May 31, 2021
#9:
I don’t think I’m going to ask him any actual questions but I will sleep with him while he’s watching my house to gather evidence that I murdered my husband/son’s girlfriend/another Wife while having a flashback of The Incident involving some mafia twin brother person
— Elle M. (they/them) (@ellle_em) May 31, 2021
#10:
LOL plot twist I’m totally a murderer!! Wow! Never so THAT coming!
— Elle M. (they/them) (@ellle_em) May 31, 2021
#11:
Omg wait DOUBLE PLOT TWIST! My husband is a murderer who used my fragile mental state (due to The Incident) to make me THINK I was a murderer! But attractive detective lawyer cop figured it out!
— Elle M. (they/them) (@ellle_em) May 31, 2021
#12:
UR NEVER GONNA BELIEVE THIS BUT TRIPLE PLOT TWIST! My SON was actually the murderer and my husband framed himself and me for murder to protect him!!
Wow! So wild!
— Elle M. (they/them) (@ellle_em) May 31, 2021
#13:
Now let’s end with my son and I looking at each other uneasily, as I come to terms with the fact he might be evil! But who cares! Is my husband alive? I don’t even know!
The name of my book is The Wife’s Question. It’s ironic!
— Elle M. (they/them) (@ellle_em) May 31, 2021
