Have you ever believed in horoscopes or the magic of zodiac signs? Or do you ever want to know the secret superpower of your zodiac sign? Well, I’m afraid we can’t tell you either. What we can say is that the characteristics of zodiac signs are always something ‹very special›! Today we have brought you the best tweets about funny zodiac signs and funny horoscopes and hope that the sky is well-disposed towards us! Take it with humor and find your funny zodiac signs!
The funniest zodiac signs
Zodiac signs as my understanding of zodiac signs
Aquarium – wet
Pieces – two fish?
Air – good
Taurus – 0% APR for 72 months
Gini – wishful
Cancer – bad
Leo – one oscar
Virgin – me
Scorpion – also bad
Saggy terrorist – old and very bad
Candy corn – good on Halloween
— Joey⚡️ (@joeygllghr) August 18, 2018
But my horoscope says…
I hate it when people use their zodiac signs to justify their shitty behavior. Like “oh sorry, I can’t help that I’m a Scorpio!” No Susan, you’re just a bitch.
— Mason (@Official_Mason_) January 10, 2019
Dating a guy who’s into astrology
First date
Her: So what do you do?
Him: I'm currently trying to eliminate all cancers
Her: Wow, impressive
Him: Then I'll move on to Virgos— Ayn Randy (@ItsAndyRyan) May 18, 2016
Glad you brought that up!
Astrology bitches after you told them your sign pic.twitter.com/OubufwoBcn
— Shakira D. Law (@godlysIut) February 5, 2019
Horoscope consulting, what can I do for you?
📍me
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📍asking a guy what |
he meant |
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📍consulting 6 of my group chats
and my horoscope for advice— Carly Rae DEFUND LAPD Jesse (@tinderdistrict) May 22, 2019
Never marry an Aries!
Divorce Lawyers are getting into Astrology now pic.twitter.com/r69xDZQcdg
— Ruby, Message In The Crystal 💎 (@RubyWayward) May 19, 2019
When you’re horoscope want’s you to stay single
How to get a guy to stop hitting on you at the bar:
-Tell him about your horoscope.
-Tell him about your cat.
-Tell him about your cat’s horoscope.— Hannah Berner (@beingbernz) September 6, 2018
Shut up, this is my zodiac sign!
Any sign: I just want you to be happy in life
Sagittarius: Ok. Pay off my loans, buy me a BMW & die leaving me everything.— Astro Poets (@poetastrologers) November 28, 2016
Omg, how can you know this?!
Horoscope: “You are breathing”
Girls: pic.twitter.com/GXxawdIR8c
— K-J®➰ (@ThisNotKJ) July 20, 2020
The bond is strong
car people astrology people
🤝
my saturn is fucked up— sarah (@sarahmazing) October 18, 2019
Astrology Karen be like
“do you ever stop talking about astrology?”
♈️ ♈️ ♈️♓️♒️
♉️♍️ ♓️ ♉️ ♑️
♊️ ♎️ ♒️ ♊️ ♐️
♋️ ♏️♑️ ♋️ ♏️
♌️ ♐️ ♌️♍️♎️— 𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐡’𝐬 𝐚𝐪𝐮𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 // bIm (@moonin7th) October 11, 2019
Must be a funny zodiac sign to be
Gemini Season is having 37 tabs open, but in real life
— XO (@arebirthofvenus) May 23, 2019
You haven’t had enough? Then we’ve got the funniest tweets about single life and dating apps for you!
