Animals have always been the better humans, but especially since quarantine and lockdown are a regular part of our vocabulary also life savers. They keep you company, usually don’t talk as much as people (yes wer are looking at you, parrots), don’t want to drink away the expensive wine that you saved for the funeral of your mother in law and most of them are cute. They also inspire great Tweets and now you can read some of the best ones. Enjoy!
[god creating jellyfish]
how bout an evil bag
— 𝔭𝔲𝔪𝔞 𝔭𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔰 (@athleisure_monk) December 26, 2015
[inventing the parrot]
HOW ABOUT LIKE A TYE DYE CHICKEN WHO SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU
— jade (@BacklineNurse) February 18, 2015
me forcing my cat to look at the screen while we watch alien (1979): do you see how ripley is able to save jonesy from the alien because he lets her pick him up and put him in a carrier?
— sara david (@SaraQDavid) November 24, 2020
the perfect date doesn't exist 🙂 pic.twitter.com/oGVQuYim6U
— cats with pawerful aura 🐾 (@thesebosscats) November 25, 2020
[god making pandas]
GOD: cow bears
GOD: did i fucken stutter
GOD: take it a cow and make it a bear
— jackson (@yungshepherdboy) May 15, 2015
All I want for Christmas is a domesticated raccoon that wants to eat lasagna with me & go on quirky adventures. It would also be nice if the raccoon could do magic but I understand that is asking a lot and therefore, it is not required.
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) December 25, 2018
quarantine day 14: me cats jus asked me if i wanted the radio left on while he went out
— P (@pw_1995) March 31, 2020
accountant: "youre basically broke"
wife: "he keeps spending money on stupid stuff"
me: "lets ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid"
— k e i t h 🐤🥔 (@KeetPotato) October 27, 2015
I would pay big bucks to be able to text my dog
— troye (@troyesivan) May 9, 2019
I don't like puppies. I like old, streetwise dogs who put a paw on your arm and stare you down like they're proposing one last casino heist.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) October 5, 2016