Coworkers are great. What’s better than sharing the passion of your chosen profession with like minded, intelligent, nice people? Okay, even I didn’t buy that, but most of them are tolerable. ALRIGHT, there are a few you wouldn’t leave behind in a quick second during the zombie apocalypse. Personally I have a small list called «will survive the revolution». Just like Santa but the stakes are higher.
But on the upside, there are some really great tweets about coworkers. We managed to find the best. Enjoy!
How to be a grown up at work:
Replace "Fuck you" with "Ok, great"
— Pin Up Teacher (@pinupteacher) April 3, 2015
I told all my colleagues at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I don't have to talk to them.
— Sweet Slips (@Ndeshi_M) May 14, 2015
coworker: what's for lunch?
me: [eating] food, generally
cw: no, I mean what are you having?
me: an unwanted conversation
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) March 4, 2016
You can sit idle for days in your office but the moment you ask for a half day leave you become the strategically most important employee.
— Aladdin (@Alllahdin) August 8, 2014
STAGES OF WORKING FROM HOME
– Yay I get to work from home
– It would be nice to talk to people
– I hope that pigeon sits in the window today
— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) July 14, 2015
my boss: [whispering into my coffin] "you haven't submitted your timesheet"
— k e i t h 🐤🥔 (@KeetPotato) February 3, 2016
BOSS: You ok?
ME: Yeah, why?
BOSS: You have a sign that says “2 Days Without Being Annoyed”
[maintaining eye contact, I change it to 0]
— Your Dad (@InternetHippo) February 10, 2016
Interviewer: "What's your greatest strength?"
*45 minutes later*
Me: "I'm very comfortable with silence."
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) February 12, 2016
Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner.
— ceej (@ceejoyner) January 12, 2015
I'm developing an app that makes a cricket sound effect at the end of my coworkers' stories.
— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) October 25, 2013