So, Jesus did something again, meaning we have a long weekend ahead of us. In theory that sounds pretty great, while in reality it means a lot of religious people will be in big crowds again, to say hello to sky daddy. While there is still this thing going around, what was it? Right, a damn pandemic. We’re pretty sure, that if you ask yourself what Jesus would do, it wouldn’t involve putting vulnerable people at risk, but what do we know? So please stay at home, treat yourself with a good breakfast, hunt some chocolate bunnies and perhaps read a few of the best Easter Tweets? Stay healthy!
#1:
Judas: The one I kiss is Jesus Christ.
Soldier: You can just point to him.
Judas: (putting on lip-balm) I don't tell you how to do your job.— Gerry McBride (@GerryMcBride) March 21, 2016
#2:
Dad, the Easter Bunny should know that I don't like Rolos but he puts them in my basket every year.
Me: (eating a Rolo) Yeah, that's weird.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2016
#3:
[in heaven after crucifixion]
jesus: "they were horrible dad, im pleased im not going back there"
god: [rubbing his neck] "see the thing is"— k e i t h 🐤🥔 (@KeetPotato) January 15, 2015
#4:
can't believe Jesus was born on Christmas and died on Easter, what are the odds? still, he accomplished a lot for a four month year old.
— the garbage shit boy (@davedittell) August 31, 2013
#5:
[Jerusalem]
MARY: They've taken Jesus from his tomb
SIMON: Maybe they gave him Upjesus
MARY: What's Upjesus?
JESUS {risen}: Not much, w—
— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) April 16, 2017
#6:
roses are red
britain has brexit
jesus christ is pic.twitter.com/Lnt1tXVmkG— rose 🦇 (@roselyddon) April 15, 2017
#7:
Judas: still on for Friday?
Jesus: Friday?
Judas: yeah, the last supper
Jesus: the what?
Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas— David Hughes (@david8hughes) January 5, 2015
#8:
Happy Easter
— Al Hughes Dukes (@Alsboringtweets) April 12, 2020
#9:
Hi guys
I'm having a BBQ at my place this Easter.
Jollof
Cocktails
JazzBand etc
If u're free & interested u can also do the same at ur place— Plangkat (@peekaymila) April 12, 2017
#10:
[Jesus at Last Supper]
*breaks bread* This is my body
*pours wine* This is my blood
*opens jar of mayo*
Judas: I'm gonna stop u right there— updog (@uptowndogfunk) August 18, 2015