Remember the time before COVID, when people with serious, permanent lung diseases were extremely rare? Suddenly everyone and it’s dog is a risk patient. «I really can’t wear a mask, the grandfather of my neighbours distant relative in Alaska had a pretty bad flue in 1869, he barely survived.» And it’s always the people that have enough breath to explain their political views to you in great detail during a 20 minute monologue, while standing in a crowded supermarket. Basically, «I can’t wear a mask» is the new «I can’t wear a condom because of my latex allergy.» Same asshole energy, same stupid explanations. But luckily, you have our gems to take an even deeper breath and perhaps laugh a bit about said people. Enjoy!
COVID Parenting Tip: Train your children to loudly ask, "Why isn't that person wearing a mask? Are we going to get sick?" when in public.
— Conrad Zimmerman (@ConradZimmerman) May 15, 2020
From now on I’m always going to wear a mask to the grocery store, I prefer a disguise when purchasing obscene amounts of junk food.
— Sarah Thyre (@SarahThyre) May 18, 2020
So many ugly people not wearing masks. This is your moment. Embrace it!
— Megan Gailey (@megangailey) May 14, 2020
people wearing masks without covering their nose pic.twitter.com/0pS7VvMEEK
— Quinn (@ItsQuinnMoore) June 28, 2020
I’ve never worn a mask before and it’s becoming comfortable, like a warm blanket of stay the hell away from me.
— The Alex Nevil, Reborn 1/20/2021 (@TheAlexNevil) May 14, 2020
You can have an edit button when everyone wears a mask
— Twitter (@Twitter) July 2, 2020
I’m on a bus in Sydney.
Everyone is wearing a mask.
(There is a mandate.)
Everyone is sitting apart.
(There are dots.)
Nobody is whining.
(Some of us have real problems.)
It’s not rocket science.
— 𝙴𝚕𝚕𝚎 𝙳𝚎𝚂𝚢𝚕𝚟𝚊 🇦🇺🦘🌊😷✨ (@elle_desylva) January 18, 2021
If you’re pissed off about wearing a mask, wait till you hear about seatbelts!
— Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 18, 2020
Ripping off your mask when you get back in the car is the new taking off your bra when you get home
— Maggie Scott (@maggiescott231) May 10, 2020
imagine your entire personality is not wanting to wear a mask
— DEADSKULL 🇦🇲 (@deadskulltweets) January 18, 2021