Today is Thanksgiving. Celebrating a day where you committed genocide seems a bit weird for outsiders, but it is what it is. Cultural differences. Not that it would be a wise move in general to travel in the middle of the pandemic, and every introvert is really thankful for that right now. Not quite as thankful as the turkey who received a formal pardon from President Trump, but still. In any case, we digged deep into the cranberry sauce of Twitter and found the best Tweets for you. Enjoy!
#OverheardAtThanksgivingDinner Yes, I'm still single. No, I'm not a lesbian. Please pass the wine.
— Regina Spacola (@gigirules7) November 17, 2016
i’m the girl ur family asks u about when ur eating thanksgiving dinner 3 years after we break up
— RY ⋆⋆⋆ (@ryleighdenise) November 20, 2019
"This turkey is so good"
Uncle: "……you know what's not good?"
Uncle: "THE GOD DAMN LIBERALS"
— Brandon Calvillo (@BJCalvillo) November 21, 2016
This Thanksgiving for the first time ever, your drunk uncle will seem quite “presidential.”
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) November 14, 2016
For those of you who are alone on thanksgiving for $50 I'll call you and ask you why you're not married yet and when you're getting a raise
— Narcoleptic Lothario (@mattytalks) November 27, 2014
Call your dad now and ask him what the wifi password is so he has time to find the little paper it's written on before Thanksgiving.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 15, 2016
I love Thanksgiving. Can't wait to slave for hours over a meal my kids will rudely reject in front of relatives who are judging my parenting
— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) November 16, 2016
HOW TO PREPARE FOR THANKSGIVING:
1. Carve a turkey
2. No, not into a pentagram
3. Where did these candles come from
4. There is so much fire
— Chris Worthington (@SomeChrisTweets) November 23, 2015
I'm going to do the same thing I do every Thanksgiving: talk to no one & get drunk while dancing with the family dog.
— Doth (@DothTheDoth) November 17, 2016
if you ever hate yourself just remember that last year i hosted thanksgiving for my family and i told them to park in the wrong spot and every single persons car got towed
— Danya (@dxxnya) November 13, 2019