Let’s all be honest, flirting sucks.Things were probably way easier at a time, where you just had to get yourself nearly killed to present a dead mammoth at the next cave door. And don’t get fooled, it isn’t exactly easy for women either. Not knowing if the guy you hooked up with last night really is working in retail and not a serial killer isn’t the thrill you’re looking for when people say dating is an «adventure». Not to mention that the alternative, binging Netflix while stuffing a large pizza with every kind of topping in your mouth while wearing comfy clothes, sounds pretty nice. I mean, that sounds always nice, but compared to awkward conversations about the job you hate and why you’re still single at an age where other cultures are already preparing their offspring to move the fuck out it’s heaven. And we are talking about heaven in every culture. The only good thing you can say about flirting to get a date is the fact that there are hilarious Tweets as a result. And who found them? Right, you can always count on us. Perhaps we can tell you more about how we catch them over a glass of wine? No? Fair enough, we had to try. Enjoy!
#1:
[first date]
HER: So do you prefer cats or dogs?
ME: *scanning the menu* I don't even see them on here. What page are you on?
— Floyd (@dafloydsta) October 24, 2016
#2:
boy: you have really pretty eyes…
me: *suspicious* thank you…???
boy: *leans in slowly*
me: NO!!!! You cant have them!!!!!— KING RAINHEAD (@KingRainhead) December 13, 2014
#3:
him: your single? why?
me: you're*
— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) May 3, 2015
#4:
Me on a first date pic.twitter.com/VIkg0SvPMu
— Nicky Cieri (@nickycieri) October 23, 2016
#5:
[stares at the eclipse]
Eclipse – "I have a boyfriend"— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) August 20, 2017
#6:
Me: should I just text him again?
everyone: https://t.co/7YHs9Sjhv5
— 𝐤𝐚𝐲𝐲𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲 (@kayyorkcity) September 30, 2019
#7:
ME: Can I buy you a drink?
HER: I have a boyfriend.
ME: {counting coins on the table} He can only get something small then.
— John Kennedy (@FrazzleMyGimp) May 16, 2018
#8:
When you can't really tell if someone is into you or not pic.twitter.com/DbtK9mCstQ
— Stumbler Top (@StumblerTop) October 11, 2015
#9:
I don't flirt.
But I will stare at the floor shuffling my feet in a seductive manner.
— Mr Wright Now, Maybe (@dannyboy7813) October 23, 2017
#10:
Her: you ok?
Me: just nervous, I don't date much
Her: you're doing fine
[I go to take a drink, but It's the candle & I set my face on fire]— Dave (@T_N_Crumpets) September 4, 2015