Finding the right person to live with is one of the last treasure hunts that are left to modern humanity. And make no mistake, by «the right person» we mean the one that doesn’t drive you entirely nuts and knows to shut up when you dive into a bucket of ice cream in the middle of the night while being on a diet. Since we’re at it, being quiet to the ability to breath silently are actually two of the most valuable features when it comes to marriage material. You don’t believe us, well, then you might wanna take a closer look on the following Tweets about the pure joy of married life.
Whenever I tell a story where I have to quote my husband I always make him sound like a complete Neanderthal doofus and he sounds nothing like that and yet I can’t stop myself
— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 24, 2021
My husband and I made a deal that whoever gets out of bed first makes the coffee. I’ve been in bed with my eyes closed for 2 months.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) June 23, 2021
it’s adorable, my husband thinks i worked out but i just have the face sweats from eating salt and vinegar chips
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) June 18, 2021
My wife asked me not to forget something and I said okay, and we both just laughed and laughed.
— Boyd’s Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) June 20, 2021
How my wife changes the toilet paper. pic.twitter.com/LQj6XdCjQh
— Eman El-husseini (@emanifique) June 13, 2021
we have been married for eleven years and just now my husband thinks he’s going to strike up a conversation with me about pro basketball im not sure what i did to deserve this honestly
— That Mom Tho 🏳️🌈 (@mom_tho) June 20, 2021
When my husband makes me mad I’ll send him to the store for something that doesn’t exist.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) June 29, 2021
60% of married life is waiting for your seated spouse to stand up so you can remain seated and get whatever you need now delivered to you.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 23, 2021
Guys, when she tells you she’s in the mood don’t just run up in the bedroom naked what she might be in the mood for is to eat hummus in the bed alone
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) June 16, 2021
My wife has made it very clear that I have no say in home decor and yet pauses Netflix every five minutes for my opinion on throw pillows
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) June 22, 2021
It’s 97° and my wife left the house carrying a hoodie, «just in case.»
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) June 29, 2021
My husband was snapping pictures of every room in our house. I said, «Are those for the insurance company?» He said, «No. They’re for the marriage counselor.»
— Emma Beasley🐝 (@JustBeingEmma) June 23, 2021
Me: I just realized it was Thursday.
Husband: What day did you think it was?
Husband: Well they both start with T and end with sday.
Me: Thanks for having my back honey.
— Mom Meh (@mommeh_dearest) June 25, 2021
The worst thing you can do when you are in a fight with your wife is fall asleep easily that night.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 18, 2021
My husband just used our personal lube to keep a door from squeaking in case you’re wondering about new ways to spice up your own marriage
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) June 24, 2021
Reconsidering your relationship? Then this might be right for you: