Welcome to Best of Twitter! So you have applied to us as a top reader. I would like to start by telling you a little about the areas of responsibility for this job. As a top reader with us, you are committed to have fun. We offer you a lot of humor and variety. Your tasks are to read articles, laugh and share them with friends and colleagues. So that you can be sure that you fit in with us, we have prepared a small sample of application interview.
Do you have any pets?
Boss *on my first day at work* any questions?
Me: Do you have a rule on no penguins in the office?
Boss: Why would we have a rule like that???
*excited waddling noises in corridor*
Me: No reason
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) December 2, 2019
What was the strangest moment in your life?
Me: you know how in movies someone is yelling at someone else and the sexuality of the exchange overtakes them and they start making out
Wife: yes why
Me: my boss fired me today
How do you deal with criticism?
[first day as waiter]
Customer: what’s in the chef’s special?
Me: expired chicken
Manager: uh can I talk to you for sec?
Manager: just say chicken
Customer: you’re lucky I don’t report you
— clean slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) January 13, 2020
How do you deal with embarrassing situations?
my office crush bumped into me while I was drinking wine and apologized so I tried to say “no worries” but my mouth was full so I drooled wine on myself how’s everyone else’s holiday season going
— Cherokee McAnelly (@cherokeeclare) December 12, 2019
Do you like working with people and helping them?
me: i worked retail for five years
interviewer: did u learn anything
me: people are awful and deserve nothing
interviewer: how will that help us at spirit airlines
me: haha are u joking
interviewer: lmao yeah no ur hired
— randy (@leakypod) December 12, 2019
Do you have any leadership qualities?
[back at work after being a stay-at-home parent for many years]
Me: alright, before this meeting starts, I want everyone to go pee. I don’t care if you don’t feel it, you need to try.
— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) June 16, 2019
How imaginative are you?
Good morning, Twitter 😊 pic.twitter.com/oJ693y2lgW
— Schadenfreudelish (@aggierican) November 21, 2019
How do you deal with authority?
me: [slowly removing tiara i made out of binder clips]
— ✨V✨ (@coolauntV) December 12, 2019
What are your personal strenghts?
interviewer: What are your strengths?
cat: Thinking inside the box
interviewer: You mean outside
cat: *from box* what
— Indy 🧞♂️ (@IndecisiveJones) December 31, 2019
What skills qualify you for the job?
(Interview to be a hot dog vendor at a baseball park)
INTERVIEWER: how loud can you yell 'hot dogs'?
ME: (eyes go completely black) HOT DOGS
— Michael Raphone, Sr. (@michael_raphone) June 21, 2015